I am realizing that one of the biggest changes from life without a child to life with a child is that I have become a champion clock watcher. I was always an efficient user and planner of time but I never had to look at the clock with such regularity even as a schoolteacher! Now, as a SAHM, I find myself feeling married to the clock. What time will he get up, how many seconds will it take me to prepare his bottle, it is 8:30am - shouldn't he be napping?, what time will he need to eat again, what time will he need to sleep again, is he really up already?, is he really still asleep?, we have to eat dinner in10 minutes so that he can take a shower, what time will D be home so I can get a break, and SO MANY MORE.
I am not really sure what all of that is about but I am determined to figure it out. I am not exactly sure how I turned into this clock-watching-maniac but it has to stop to some degree. I have lost my self-confidence and, frankly, I am tired of it. I need to regain some trust in myself and my ability to handle the sleeping/eating/waking/activity-playing schedule. It may seem like a small thing but right now, it feels like a 200-lb weight around my neck.
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