I'm a clock watcher . . .

I am realizing that one of the biggest changes from life without a child to life with a child is that I have become a champion clock watcher.  I was always an efficient user and planner of time but I never had to look at the clock with such regularity even as a schoolteacher!  Now, as a SAHM, I find myself feeling married to the clock.  What time will he get up, how many seconds will it take me to prepare his bottle, it is 8:30am - shouldn't he be napping?, what time will he need to eat again, what time will he need to sleep again, is he really up already?, is he really still asleep?, we have to eat dinner in10 minutes so that he can take a shower, what time will D be home so I can get a break, and SO MANY MORE.

I am not really sure what all of that is about but I am determined to figure it out.  I am not exactly sure how I turned into this clock-watching-maniac but it has to stop to some degree.  I have lost my self-confidence and, frankly, I am tired of it.  I need to regain some trust in myself and my ability to handle the sleeping/eating/waking/activity-playing schedule.  It may seem like a small thing but right now, it feels like a 200-lb weight around my neck. 

Join Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

D and I watched the 2 episodes of Jamie Oliver's food revolution and were revolted that this is the way children in the US eat both at school and at home. 

Click here to watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on Hulu.com

Message from Jamie



I believe that every child in America has the right to fresh, nutritious school meals, and that every family deserves real, honest, wholesome food. Too many people are being affected by what they eat. It's time for a national revolution. America needs to stand up for better food!

You live in an amazing country full of inspirational people and you have the power to change things. With your help, we can get better food into homes, schools and communities all over America and give your kids a better future.

Sign the petition to save America's cooking skills and improve school food. It could be the most important thing you ever do for your family. America's health needs you now!
 
Sign Jamie Oliver's petition

Too many blog topics, not enough hands

Today is certainly one of those days when I have wanted to sit down at my computer and write about at least 4 topics but it is after 8pm, the baby is in bed, and I am finally getting to my computer.  Somedays feel like they move along so effortlessly and others feel like I am moving a beach one grain of sand at a time.  Today was a sand-moving day. 

I think that I am still exhausted after our long weekend and still trying to figure out where to put all of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions about the entire experience.  Add to that the fact that I had a bizarre dream last night (the kind where you wake up and think that it could be true so it hangs with you for the entire day) and I have just not been able to shake this feeling of being 'off' today. 

The first big thing that I am still battling is the differences between fathers & mothers.  I think that D is an incredible husband and a wonderful father.  We have an extremely strong relationship and we loved sharing 4 1/2 years of marriage before M's arrival in October.  We have always lived our lives as strong individuals but we have also approached our marriage with a team approach; always leaning on each other and making big decisions together.  This has been a really great way to approach things for us and I always though that we would do the same thing as parents.  In my heart, I know that we will with regards to discipline, values/morals/ethics, etc etc etc.  But, with M as a baby, it certainly hasn't felt that the "team approach" hasn't come easily.  I think that this is pretty normal but it is proving to be a little bit tough.  I am sure that I will be talking about this more...

The other 2 things that I am battling right now is a sense of losing myself a little bit and a major decision about heading back to work.  Both big topics that I will get to at some point .... just not tonight.  Must rest!

I think I'm SOOOO smart

Yup - just when I think that I am so smart and so self-righteous I get turned around.  M slept very well in his pack & play last night (after 2 times of resettling him and one dose of Orajel).  I went to bed after an hour of a bad movie (The Informant - sleeper!!).  DH came to bed a while later and then we brought M into bed around 5:30am because he was cold. 

When M got up at 7:00am, DH was up with us and came downstairs with us.  Just having a good night's sleep AND having DH with me this morning felt relaxing.  M is down for his nap now and I am just hoping that he is able to sleep for an hour or so.  He needs it. 

Why is vacation for D just more work for me?

I love my DH - I really do.  And for many, many reasons he is the best partner in the world.  But - we are away this weekend with family and I thought for sure that this would be a relaxing weekend for us.  I thought that other people would help out and let me relax a bit.  I thought for sure that DH would step up a little bit more than normal being that I just went back to work for 2 days. 

Well - I was wrong.  Everyone that is here is wonderful and have been playing with M but I feel more tired.  For lots of reasons.  First, because M is not sleeping well in his pack & play (whatever happened to portable cribs with real mattresses??!! I sound like my grandmother!).  So, M slept with us last night in a king-sized bed.  Of course, you'd never know that it was a king-size as I was on the far edge with Michael right up against me and D with the rest of the bed.  That is M's fault - at 26 1/2 inches, he is the biggest bed-hog I have ever met.  :) 

But, DH has been doing lots of resting and QT with the fam (including a driving range outing) but I haven't had a break yet.  I am just feeling exhausted.  I guess this is just one of the other roles of mother.  It is something that we will definitely talk about - not argue, just discuss as we have done throughout this new phase of life. 

Until then, I am blogging, watching a movie, and listening out for M. 

Back to work wasn't so bad . . .

Thursday morning, M & I got up and I started my new 2-day/week-morning-routine.  He was an angel.  I had showered the night before (just to be sure I didn't run out of time).  I have heard from so many mommies that they have turned to nighttime showering to keep from rushing. 

Anyway - M was in a great mood and had his morning bottle.  After that, he went into his carseat on the dining room table while I made probably 100 trips from the kitchen to the living room.  M looked like he was watching a tennis match, following me with his eyes while I was running back and forth.  I felt relaxed, though. 

We got loaded up and drove to Grammy's.  I was talking to him the entire time, telling him why I was going back to work and promising him that he would have a great time at Grammy's.  A few minutes later, I "loaded" Michael into Grammy's house and quickly went to my car before I started crying.  No tears actually fell, but they were ready.  What was bizarre was that I was also feeling Megan with me so much.  My sister's presence comes to me so many times when I am really in need.  I made it to school 30 minutes early and it felt good to be back.  The list of tasks is hefty, but I feel confident that I will be able to handle it. 

I resisted the temptation to call to check in on him - I just knew that he was doing great and in incredible hands.  So, at 3:00pm, I pulled out of work and headed to see my little love.  As I expected, he had a wonderful day and barely fussed at all.  It felt great to know that we both had good days. 

Now, it is spring break!  :)  I get another week with my boy before having to head back to work 2 days/week.  It feels good to have the time and energy to be with Michael and also give of myself to other young people. 

The time is upon me . . .

In 12 short hours, I will be a working woman once again (working OUTSIDE the home, that is).  I am feeling a bit nervous and apprehensive about my return to work for a few reasons. 

1) M has not been himself for the past 2 days - I think that he has a stuffy nose and cough either from a cold or from teething.  He has woken up at 4am the past two mornings and has not been easy to get back to sleep.  He hasn't been eating as well and just isn't his normal, happy-go-lucky self.  I hope that he does ok and doesn't miss me too much.
2) I hope that I don't miss him too much, but I don't think that will be possible.  There are definitely days when I wish that I could get away for a little break but now that those days are upon me, I am feeling sad about leaving my boy.  I am SO grateful that he will be in the more-than-capable and extremely loving hands of his Grammy and his Nana but I am still feeling a bit odd. 
3) I am also nervous about transitioning back into school.  SO much has happened in the last 5 months and I will be returning to a completely different role and one that is somewhat of a "fill in".  I know that the team at the school is grateful to have me back and I am sure that I will be ok, but I am nervous. 
4) Finally - I am just wondering what I will feel like while I am away from M.  Will it be hard to concentrate?  Will I feel relief for the break and the opportunity to use a different part of my brain?  Will I feel guilty for leaving him. 

We shall see . . .

Did I do too much?

So, in my excitement to get M close to eating solid foods, I have been feeling adventurous.  Last weekend, I let him try to drink a little water from my glass.  He did fine (read: he did not cry, vomit, break the glass, or drench himself or me).  Then, on Friday, I baked sweet potatoes for dinner and put a tiny, itty-bitty on the tip of my finger and let him suck it off.  He loved it.  Yesterday, at my Mom's, I let him gnaw on a big celery stalk that had been in the fridge because his teeth seemed to be really bothering him.  I am fine with all of this  but .... M has been having some gas pains since about 7pm last night and I am wondering if it was the celery. 

I will cut back my "experimenting".  I know that the world of solid foods (and soiled carpets/clothes/hair) will be upon us soon enough.  :) 

For anyone who is interesed in what I am reading to prepare myself (did you really think there wasn't a book??) - I am reading 3 things:

1. Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron - Super Baby Food from amazon.com
2. New Vegetarian Baby by Sharon Yntema & Christine Beard- New Vegetarian Baby
3. Raising Vegetarian Children by Vesanto Melina - Raising Vegetarian Children

Love our life

What a wonderful weekend so far...we are so blessed to have M in our lives.  Friday night we spent time with family getting ready for our next big family event - Uncle & Auntie wedding in 6 weeks!  It was great to spend time together and to work on plans for them.  Then, yesterday, M took a beautiful morning nap (8:30 - 10:15am) and then we hit the road to meet some wonderful friends for lunch and then met my Dad to hit some golf balls.  Then M hung out in his swing on the porch while we worked outside.  It was so wonderful.

M had a little teething trouble last night but he did ok.  D & I were able to watch "Twilight" (finally) and get to bed at a decent hour.  Looking forward to another great day today - M is already down for his AM nap. 

The grunts

Is it sick that I laugh out loud when I hear M making "the grunts" in the morning??  I seriously find his poopy sounds to be some of the funniest stuff I hear all day long. 

Like today, for instance, he is in a fabulous mood (definitely a morning person) and he has had his bottle.  He is in his bouncy seat (helps to move things along, if you know what I mean) and is smiling, laughing, "talking", and playing but then every once in a while he will let out this long grunt with a super serious face.  When I look over, it's like I have caught him in the act.  It just makes me giggle. 

Seriously, though, I try to make light of it so that he is not embarrassed about normal, human, bodily functions when he gets older.  Sometimes I think about where that comes from.  I was always embarrassed if I had to poop or toot like no one else did it or it was something embarrassing....why???  So, I'd like him not to worry about that like I did.  Of course, D assures me that because he is a boy and he has a lot of uncles who can border on gross that M will have no problem in the bodily function department. 

Great.  Bring on the grunts. 

Back to work :(

D & I have been discussing the possibility of me returning to work.  At the beginning, I sort of wanted to go back to work to give me a break but since M has been about 2 months old, I have really LOVED being at home and the thought of returning to work made me sad. 

Financially, though, we are at the point where we need to have some more income.  D is launching his business and I fully support his efforts.  I KNOW in my heart that he will be very successful and that his success will allow me to be home more in the future. 

So, we have been back and forth about this and there was talk of me working for my in-law's family business, but we both thought that wasn't ideal.  As an educator, though, I just couldn't imagine how I might be able to return to the school environment on a part-time basis.  Especially given the fact that I wanted to only work 2 days a week from 9-3. 

Well - wouldn't you know it -- I got a call from my former boss and they offered me a 2 day/week position to work 2 days/week from 9a-3p.  It is the best scenario I could have imagine and while I would rather be at home all the time, this is a part-time and temporary thing. 

Next week will be tough but at least we are blessed to have 2 grandmothers to watch M.  I know that this will be a good step for our family. 

Holy Consignment, Batman!

So a friend introduced me to the most AMAZING consignment sale for mommies.  We went last night to their spring consignment sale at the Burlington Center mall and it was incredible.  I spent $150 and walked out with M's clothes for this summer, next summer, Robeez, toys, puzzles, Mega Blocks piano, and a Leap Frog musical activity table.  Plus, it was a great time to be out with my mommy girlfriend. 

All mommies should take advantage of this and encourage your first-time mommy friends to sign up for their special sale for first time mommies. 

Best Dressed Sale Link


HAPPY SHOPPING!! 

I never thought I'd do this . . .

After a wonderful walk (5 miles!) with M and my sis, M & I stopped at a local place for lunch.  He was needing a bottle and mama was needing some lunch as there was nothing at home.  I hadn't changed M at the park after our walk so I decided to change him at the restaurant.  I contemplated just doing it right in the booth (this was by no means a fancy place and no one was there) but I decided to go to the ladies room instead.  Lo and behold, no diaper changing station.  So, I became a bad mommy at that point - laid out the diaper changing pad on the floor and changed my little bugger.  It was shocking that I actually did this but he was hungry and I wasn't about to trek back out to the car and leave stuff in the place. 

And so, I now have journeyed to the other side of motherhood.  Shame on me.  (but it was SOOOO easy to do)

Guess who did it?

Check it out!

http://tinypic.com/m/9hlukl/2

One direction down
One to go! 

For a mama friend who has an upside-down baby

Here are some ways to Turn Your Breech Baby!

Be sure to check with your provider before trying the positions for turning a breech baby to see if there is any reason why you should not use them.

Visualizing the baby moving down with the head very deep in your pelvis, several times a day; especially in conjunction with positions and exercises below.

Swimming as often as possible. This keeps your body and pelvis loose and relaxed. Do in conjunction with headstand below if you have help.

Headstand - with assistance and in a pool frequently as possible.

Breech Tilt - begin at 32-35 weeks gestation. Do 3 times daily for 10-15 minutes each time, when you have an empty stomach, and the baby is active. Prop one end of an ironing board securely on a sofa or chair 12 to 18 inches high (or may use slant board). Lie down, bend knees but keep feet flat on board. Relax, breathe deeply, avoid tensing. May also use pillows on a flat surface to raise hips 12-18" above shoulders. Gravity pushes the baby's head into the fundus, tucks it, and baby can then do a somersault to a vertex position.

Massage - start with your left hand at the bottom of the abdomen and your right hand just above it. Move move your hands clockwise around the right side of your tummy. As your right hand reaches the top of your abdomen, slide the left one over your right and move it down the left side of your tummy. Your left hand leads as you you come full circle, continuing clockwise. Massage gently as you would to apply lotion. Massage for ten minutes or more up to several times each day.

Glass of orange or other juice - follow this with a side-lying position with your hips positioned higher than your feet. Babies move more after a sugar high!

Pelvic Tilt- with an ice pack on the top of your tummy on an empty stomach, 10 minutes twice a day. Do this while lying on your back on the floor with knees flexed and feet on the floor with three large pillows placed under your buttocks. Try this in conjunction with headphones and visualization.

Cat-Cow yoga stretch - start with all fours, then lay your head and chest flat on the floor with your buttocks in the air, as you round your back and return to all fours. 

Downward Facing Dog is also a great pose.  See below.

Knee-chest position - by kneeling with hips flexed slightly more than 90 degree, but with thighs not pressing against your tummy and your head, shoulders and upper chest are flat on a mattress for 15 minutes every two waking hours for five days.

Belly Relaxing followed by Inversion - Partner places a shawl, sheet, or towel under mom's hips as she lays on the floor. Lift up on the corners of the cloth and shimmy her from side to side moving your hands up and down to wiggle her belly from side to side. These should be very small movements which mom should find very relaxing. Do this for about 5 minutes. Then mother kneels on the stairway landing. Walk your hands down 2 or 3 stairs into an all fours position; have your partner support your shoulders to balance you. Remain in this position for about 5-10 minutes or as long as comfortable. Also do this on an empty stomach.

The following techniques to turn breech babies to vertex involve the assistance of a specialist or medical professional:

Acupuncture - find a acupuncturist who is familiar with pregnancy and knows the points to stimulate for turning a breech baby.

Roll Over, Roll Over . . .

Of course, I had to look it up ... M is getting so close!!

Rolling over


Once your baby has head control, and about the same time that he learns to sit on his own, he'll learn to roll over. He'll eventually learn to flip over from his back to his tummy and vice versa, and he'll use his newfound skill to get around a bit. The incentive for those early rolls is often an elusive toy — or you.
When it develops

Your baby may be able to kick himself over, from his tummy to his back, as early as age 2 to 3 months. It may take him until he's about 5 or 6 months to flip from back to front, though, because he needs stronger neck and arm muscles for that maneuver.

How it develops

At about 3 months, when placed on his stomach, your baby will lift his head and shoulders high, using his arms for support. This mini-pushup helps him strengthen the muscles he'll use to roll over. He'll amaze you (and himself!) the first time he flips over. (While babies often flip from front to back first, doing it the other way is perfectly normal, too.)

At 5 months your baby will probably be able to lift his head, push up on his arms, and arch his back to lift his chest off the ground. He may even rock on his stomach, kick his legs, and swim with his arms. All these exercises help him develop the muscles he needs to roll over in both directions — likely by the time he's about 6 months old.

While some babies adopt rolling as their primary mode of ground transportation for a while, others skip it altogether and move on to sitting, lunging, and crawling. As long as your child continues to gain new skills and shows interest in getting around and exploring his environment, don't worry.

What's next


Your baby developed his leg, neck, back, and arm muscles while learning to roll over. Now he'll put those same muscles to work as he learns to sit independently and crawl. Most babies have mastered sitting up by 6 or 7 months; crawling comes a little later.

Your role


You can encourage your baby's new skill through play. If you notice him rolling over spontaneously, see if he'll try again by wiggling a toy next to the side he customarily rolls to. Or lie down next to him on one side — just out of reach — and see if he'll roll to get closer to you. Applaud his efforts and smile. Rolling over is fun, but it can also be alarming the first few times.

Although your baby may not be able to roll over until about 3 months, it's best to keep your hand on him during diaper changes from the very beginning. Never leave your baby, even when he's a newborn, unattended on a bed or any other elevated surface. You'd hate for his first rolling-over experience to result in a serious injury.
When to be concerned

If your baby hasn't figured out how to flip one way or the other by the time he's about 6 months old and isn't showing any interest in getting around by any other means, bring it up the next time you talk to his doctor. Babies develop skills differently, some more quickly than others — and some babies never really take to rolling over. But if your child hasn't moved on to sitting and trying to scoot or crawl instead, ask his doctor about it. Keep in mind that premature babies may reach this and other milestones later than their peers.

Nap training??

So now that we have M back in his crib at night and sleeping through the night again, it is time to tackle some nap training. 

I have been doing some research on this (shocking, I know) and have decided that there is a lot of discrepancy out there.  Some say that babies need to sleep every 90-120 minutes while others say that most babies this age (4-5 months) will be taking 2-3 naps per day.  I did the math and that doesn't work - at least it doesn't for us. 

For a while now, M has shown me that he gets tired about 90 minutes after he wakes up in the morning (or about 8:30am).  I would like him to sleep for an hour or so but sometimes it is only 30 - 40 minutes.  I wonder if this counts as his morning nap.  Then, he usually gets tired again in the 11:30/12 range but that is often disrupted by his need to eat.  I just fed him at 2pm and he went down for a nap, which would be an ideal time for his afternoon nap. 

Here is MY goal/ideal schedule:
7am - wake time / eat
8:30/9am - morning nap (60-90 minutes)
10am - eat
12pm - cat nat (if needed)
1:30pm - eat
2pm - afternoon nap (60-90 minutes)
4pm - eat
6:30pm - bedtime routine begins (pjs, stories, prayers)
7pm - eat
7:30pm - bedtime

Wouldn't it be nice to just program that in!  :)

Teething toys

So, I did a poll of some other mamas about teething toys and here is what came up as the Top 10 teething toys (and I use that term VERY loosely) for our little ones:

10) Organic loveys - you can even wet them a bit and freeze them
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=22099
9) teething keys
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=6396
8) Bug a Loop teething ring
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=6760
7) vibrating teething rattle
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=25195
6) Natursutten Apple Teething Ring
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=15485

5) Razberry Teething pacifier
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=17943
4) Freddy the Firefly toy by Lamaze
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=6672
3) Maple Wood teething ring
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=217884
2) Sophie
http://www.diapers.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?productId=15640
1) hands/fingers
(no link for this one -- just remember to wash them a lot and keep strangers away from your LOs hands to keep the germies away)

Add some Hyland's teething tablets and time with Mommy & Daddy so that your LO can make it through the stages of teething with a little more comfort. 

Getting M back to sleep in his crib

So, after almost a week of working with (or against) M to get him back to sleeping well in his crib, his is finally back there and has been there successfully for a few days. 

First step, took him to the pedi's to rule out an ear infection.  While he presented all of the symptoms, he checked out clear (except for an abundance of earwax - eww!  we now have to bubble it out of him with some peroxide.  yuck!) 

So, the pedi said that it was most likely teething that he was using "mommy time" to help him cope with his discomfort.  So he recommended that we do the following:

1) Give him .8 dose of Tylenol about an hour before bedtime
2) Restructure bedtime so that the last hour is quiet
3) Feed him and follow our normal evening routine
4) Put him down
5) Persevere if he wakes up and help him get back to sleep in his crib, even if it takes a week and some tears

Soooo, we followed his advice and we are on night 4.  The first night, he wanted to be put on his side with his pacifier, so we had to make a few trips in that evening between 8:30 - 11pm to get him down for good.  Each night, those trips into his room decreased by a time or 2.  Tonight, he has been down for an hour or so without a peep and back on his back. 

To get him on his side (because he isn't rolling yet), we had to roll up a blanket and put it behind his back.  Then, I "helped" him to get on his side and I stretched his bottom arm stretched out just to protect him from rolling onto his face.  I also put his lovey in between his arms to help him to feel close and to protect him from rolling onto his face. 

We also added 2 Hyland's teething tablets to his bottle to help with the teething.  After tonight, because I hate medicine, I am going to reduce his Tylenol dosage to .4 for a day or 2 and then see if I can phase it out completely. 

It was a great feat and I am so pleased that he is back to acting like his happy self.  Now, if I could just get him to roll over . . .

RESEARCH: Bedtime techniques

I have been doing A LOT of reading about bedtime techniques:

These are the books I've read/referred to:

• Contented Little Baby Book
• Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
• Dr. Sears Sleep Book
• Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight

I've also heard of the following:

• Babywise
• Ferber-izing

I have liked the Sleep Lady's book the best so far but we shall see. 

To cry it out, or to not cry it out -- that is the question

It has been a long, arduous week of M's new non-sleeping pattern.  Starting last Wednesday night, he decided to stop being a champion sleeper and to start waking up as soon as he was placed in his crib.  He has never been a good day sleeper but his nights were always great.  PJs, bottle, story, prayers, sleep, crib.  The end. 

Now, we go through the routine and he falls asleep in our arms but wakes as soon as he is put down.  We have been doing all sorts of things to try to help him because he is probably dealing with some teething issues.  He is handling teething during the day ok by chewing on everything that isn't nailed down but nighttime seems to be a different story.  Today, he finally took a little nap on his side but that lasted only about 40 minutes. 

Tonight, D helped me to try to let M cry it out.  Now I get it ... what torture.  I just wanted to run up there and grab him.  We let him go for 10 minutes before I went up and put him on his side, gave him his pacifier, and rubbed his back.  He calmed down but wasn't asleep when I left the room.  SO far, no noise.  I am hoping and praying that we are helping him to fall asleep on his own. 

Mommy is SOOO tired and starting to feel a little burnt out.  I need to plan a Mommy day soon - just a few hours to myself.  It feels self-centered but I know that it is right for me. 

Side Sleeping Conundrum

M has been a GREAT night sleeper since he was 2 months old. Until now. For the past week or so, he has been struggling to sleep in his crib and stay asleep. D usually feeds him and lays him down asleep after he eats and gets rocked for a few minutes. I have done that same routine and he has been fine.
Starting last week, M has been waking up as soon as we lay him down. We try really hard not to pick him up so we pat him, put the paci in, sssshhhh, etc but after 5-6 times in a 2 hour window and we're done. We put him in bed with us and he falls asleep in an instant. In fact, he falls asleep as SOON AS WE pick him up!!
So, last night I picked him and laid him on our bed and he propped himself on his side and fell asleep. So, tonight we tried that after he woke up - I rolled him onto his side and rolled up 2 blankets (one behind, one in front) and he has been asleep for 20 minutes now without a peep.
Could this be the solution??? How do I keep him safe on his side without watching him like a hawk?  Watch for some research on this....I must figure this out!

I love the spring

Today's warm, sunny weather inspired me and has re-energized me.  M and I had such a wonderful day, having lunch with an old high school friend and then doing a little shopping before heading out for a LONG walk in the park with my sister.  Being active and watching M take in this big world made me very excited for the spring and summer.  He grows up a little bit more each day and it is such an amazing process to watch.  I feel blessed for every moment I have with him, even the tough moments, because I know that they will feel like the blink of an eye in a few short years. 

Grieving and Motherhood

I have found that becoming a mother has given my grieving process a new facet, a new level. 

I lost my sister, Megan, in May 2008 when she was killed by a reckless and drunk driver.  She was only 25 years old and she certainly did not deserve to die.  She was so full of life and was just coming into a new phase of her life when she was taken from this world.  Soon after her death, we gathered together as a family and decided that we would need a way to pay tribute to my beautiful sister so we began a memorial foundation in her name - http://www.meganashleyperry.org/.  The foundation has been doing great work so far and we only have bigger things in our future.  All of that is wonderful ...

BUT

I miss her and that never goes away.  Becoming a mother to M has made my grief even more present in all of the small moments of the day when I find myself wishing that she was here, wishing I could lean on her during the hard times and celebrate with her during all of the good times.  I hate knowing that my dear sweet M will never know his Auntie Megan in this world.  It breaks my heart that she will never take him to the zoo and encourage him to look at all of the animals, especially the ones that scare him so that he can get over his fear.  It breaks my heart that she will never get to take him to a University of Delaware football game and show off her nephew to all of her alumni friends.  It breaks my heart that he will never get to hear all about New Zealand and how he should go there someday.  I wish for her encouragement and chiding when M has his first stomach virus and I must finally get over my fear of vomit.  I ache knowing that he will never dance with her on the dance floor.  I wish that I could hear her calling out to him in her ridiculous British accent.  I long to hear her voice when motherhood has gotten the best of me for the moment and she lifts me up from the depths of my momentary low.  Most of all, I just want her here with me to enjoy this new phase of life and I want to tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am for anything that I ever did to make her feel otherwise. 

Each day, I tackle my grief as well as I can but on days like today, it gets the best of me.  I hold M while he sleeps and just cry, grieving her absence and the deep, darkness of my sadness. 

The Sunday blues...

On Sunday evenings, I start to get this sinking feeling in my stomach.  It takes me a little while to identify it but it is, in fact, the "Sunday blues".  I used to get this way when D & I were both heading back to work but never expected to feel this way once I was a SAHM.  But, here it is Sunday night and here comes the blues.  I get sad thinking that I have to send my dear D back to work tomorrow.  I miss him when he is gone and wish that we were either 1) independently weathly or 2) living in an alter-universe where there were 2 extra "hidden" days where no one could find us, talk to us, or assign us work while we're gone. 

ANSWER: Hair loss after child birth

After losing enough hair to create a wig every time I wash it, I decided to do some research about hair loss after child birth.  See below:

 

Approximately 90% of your hair is growing at any one time, while the other 10% enter a resting phase. Every two to three months the resting hair falls out and allows new hair to grow in its place. Telogen effluvium is the excessive shedding of hair that occurs one to five months following pregnancy. This is not uncommon, affecting somewhere between 40 to 50% of women; but like most changes during pregnancy, it is temporary.

 

Is there abnormal hair loss during pregnancy?

 

Hair loss that is connected to pregnancy usually occurs after delivery. During pregnancy, an increased number of hairs go into the resting phase, which is part of the normal hair loss cycle. This condition is not serious enough to cause bald spots or permanent hair loss, and should begin to diminish within 3-4 months after delivery. If you feel that you are experiencing unusual hair loss while you are pregnant, this may be due to a vitamin or mineral deficiency.

 

Why do people talk about hair loss and pregnancy?

 

The most common period of hair loss occurs approximately three months after delivery. The rise in hormones during pregnancy keeps you from losing your hair. After delivery, the hormones return to normal levels, which allows the hair to fall out and return to the normal cycle. The normal hair loss that was delayed during pregnancy may fall out all at once.

 

Up to 60% of your hair that is in the growth state may enter into the telogen resting state. The hair loss usually peaks 3-4 months after delivery as your hair follicles rejuvenate themselves. As noted before, this hair loss is temporary and hair loss returns to normal within six to twelve months.

 

Can hair loss be related to other reproductive health issues?

 

Hair loss can be triggered by anything that involves a change in the estrogen hormone balance in your system. Hair loss may result from any one or more of the following:

• Discontinuation of birth control pills or any other hormonal type of birth control method
• Miscarriage or stillbirth
• Abortion
• A hormonal imbalance

 

The Positive Side of Pregnancy and Your Hair:

 

During pregnancy there is an increase in the level of estrogen hormones. Estrogen causes hair to remain in the growing phase and stimulates the growth of your hair. While you are pregnant, you should expect a full luxurious head of hair.

 

Recommendations for Your Hair During Pregnancy and After Delivery:

 

There are a number of things that you might do to have healthier hair and/or reduce hair loss during pregnancy and after delivery:

• Consult with your health care provider to ensure a proper balance of hormones
• Avoid pigtails, cornrows, hair weaves, braids and tight hair rollers which can pull and stress your hair
• Eat a diet high in fruits and vegetables, which contain flavonoids and antioxidants that may provide protection for the hair follicles and encourage hair growth
• Use shampoos and conditioners that contain biotin and silica
• Hair is fragile when it is wet, so be gentle; avoid fine tooth combs
• If you need to use blow dryers and other heated hair instruments, try to use the cool setting
• Supplement your diet with the following nutrients:
• Vitamin B complex (Catergory A)
• Biotin (Possibly safe; orally and appropriately)
• Vitamin C (Catergory A)
• Vitamin E ( Likely safe if amount does not exceed the RDA; possibly safe if it does)
• Zinc (Likely safe when used orally and appropriately; likely unsafe when used orally in high doses)

TIP: Nausea while breastfeeding

Just speaking with a mommy on a message board who posted a question about nausea while breastfeeding.  Thought that I would pass my research along:

Nausea when breastfeeding


By Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC
A small percentage of moms report nausea during a breastfeeding session in the early weeks of breastfeeding . It goes away for most (but not all) moms by the end of the 6th-8th week. If nausea during breastfeeding begins when baby is older, consider the possibility of pregnancy.
Nausea that occurs with the milk let-down may be related to the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone that causes the milk ejection reflex (MER or let-down), and it also helps make digestion more efficient and is associated with other gut hormones that can cause nausea. According to Dr. Ruth Lawrence (author of Breastfeeding: A guide for the medical professional), the nausea described has been compared to the nausea of pregnancy that comes in waves. Symptoms are similar to low blood sugar: nausea, headache, hunger, etc.
Other symptoms during let-down: Some mothers experience itching (usually of the breast or underarm area) during letdown; this may be due to the increased blood flow or a response to oxytocin release. Hormone-related headaches or feelings of depression (or anxiety, agitation or anger) during let-down can also occur on occasion. Mothers with a history of sexual abuse may experience various symptoms when breastfeeding.
Tips to combat nausea
Most mothers find that getting something to drink and eating complex carbohydrates (like a piece of bread or a cracker) right before and/or during the breastfeeding session seems to calm the nausea.

As this is similar to morning sickness, consider trying the various suggestions offered to reduce morning sickness.

Snack often to avoid low blood sugar.

Try increasing your fluid and/or water intake a bit, even if you're already drinking to thirst. One mother who was already drinking other liquids to thirst found that her nausea went away when she started drinking more water.

Wait it out. The nausea should start to improve and will usually disappear after the early weeks of breastfeeding.

Nausea that is not associated with let-down may be related to mild dehydration, low blood sugar or exhaustion.
Are you taking time to drink enough fluids? Drinking to thirst is recommended for nursing mothers, but mothers busy with a new baby don't always get a chance (or take the time) to drink when they're thirsty. Keep several bottles of water around the house in places where you typically sit down with baby, so that there is something easily available when you're thirsty.
How are you doing with your nutrition in general? Are you taking time to eat? Low blood sugar can occur when you are not eating well and nausea can be a sign of low blood sugar. Besides eating something prior to breastfeeding, take a look at how you are eating in general, and if you have been "forgetting" to eat you might want to try to improve your diet.
Most all new moms are operating on little sleep, and exhaustion is often accompanied with nausea. Get as much rest as you can.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/nausea-bf.html

The life of a mommy ...

So I was so fortunate to be able to have a massage this week - I bought a package of 3 before I delivered M and had 2 left.  What a great reason to give myself some "me time"!  BUT - this is the life of a mommy...while on the massage table relaxing, my brain was finally able to tap into my entrepreneurial-cortex and think about what was to come next for me.  I should have been totally shut down but it didn't bother me.  It was actually empowering to just lay there and think without a concern for M's needs in that moment.  He was in fabulous hands (MIL) and I was only 3 minutes away. 

More details about my incredible idea to come ... I've got to put it all together in my head. 

Teething - oh the drama

it is amazing to me that some little white things under the gums can turn my little angel into a crazed and strung-out whiner.  his personality has always been pretty easy-going (yes, he can scream but only when absolutely necessary!) but now he is just not happy.  he struggles to eat, to sleep, to do just about anything.  he seems more tired and definitely more fussy. 

I am exploring some homeopathic remedies for him and will continue to keep the blog updated with our succcesses and failures. 

Things we are trying right now:

1) Hyland's tablets
2) Frozen pacifiers
3) Orajel (he doesn't care for this)
4) Sophie (teething giraffe)

I am also going to try freezing a washcloth and letting him suck on that.  Haven't done any Tylenol yet but we might before bed tonight.  I just hate to see him so uncomfortable.  Poor thing!

Registry Checklist

This is the registry checklist that my sister & I worked from while planning O & M's arrivals.  I have put an asterisk next to anything that I registered for, got and have yet to use (and probably won't).  Also - you should know that I am a bare-bones kind of person and we have a VERY small house.  You can go crazy with the amount of stuff.  :) 

Layette

[ ] 4-8 bodysuits or onesies (wide head openings and loose legs)
[ ] 4-8 undershirts or vests (kimono style)
[ ] 4-8 one-piece pajamas (gowns and footie pjs)
[ ] 2 blanket sleepers for winter baby
[ ] 1 sweater or jacket (front buttoned)
[ ] 1-3 outfits
[ ] 4-7 socks or booties (shoes are unnecessary until baby walks)
[ ] 1-3 hats (broad-brimmed for summer baby, soft cap that covers ears for winter baby)
[ ] No-scratch mittens *
[ ] Bunting bag or fleece suit for winter baby*
[ ] Gentle laundry detergent


Nursery
[ ] Crib
• Slats no more than 2 3/8 inches apart
• Corner posts no more than 1/16 of an inch above frame
• No cutouts in headboard or footboard
• Top rails at least 26 inches above mattress
[ ] Firm, flat mattress fit snugly in crib (less than two fingers should fit between mattress and crib)
[ ] 2 washable crib mattress pads
[ ] 2-4 fitted crib sheets
[ ] 4 soft, light receiving blanket
[ ] 1 heavier blankets (for colder climates)
[ ] Rocking or arm chair
[ ] Music box, sound machine or CD player
[ ] Crib mobile (remove when baby can support self on hands and knees)
[ ] Baby monitor
[ ] Nightlight
[ ] Dresser (can be changing table too!)
[ ] Toy basket
[ ] Swing or bouncy chair

Changing
[ ] Changing table or cushioned changing pad for low dresser or bureau, with safety strap or railing
[ ] Changing table pad
[ ] 2 Changing table pad covers
[ ] Diaper pail (plain, no need for diaper genie unless you want a sausage of diapers)
[ ] Diaper pail trash bags
[ ] Diaper cream
[ ] Unscented baby wipes (causes less irritation)
[ ] Soft washcloths (I use white for changing and colors for bathing)
[ ] Tissues (for you)
[ ] 6-10 dozen cloth diapers and 6-8 diaper covers, or 2-3 large boxes of disposable newborn-size diapers

Bath
[ ] Baby bathtub* (M goes in the shower with D now but we used the tub at the beginning)
[ ] Baby soap*
[ ] Baby shampoo
[ ] 2-4 soft towels or hooded baby towels
[ ] Baby hairbrush
[ ] Soft washcloths (use a different color or pattern than your diaper washcloths!)

Feeding
[ ] 4-6 bottles and nipples, both four and eight ounce (more if you don't wash immediately after use)
[ ] Bottle warmer (I never used it; we warm up 8 oz of water in a glass measuring cup for 45 seconds in the microwave and mix formula with that)
[ ] Bottle sterilizer (unless you have a dishwasher)
[ ] Bottle brush
[ ] Dishwasher basket for small items*
[ ] 4-8 bibs
[ ] Burp cloths (or cloth diapers)
[ ] High chair
[ ] 2-4 pacifiers
[ ] Formula (if not nursing)

For nursing moms:
[ ] 1-3 nursing bras (Breasts swell following birth, so start with one size larger than your maternity bra.  I recommend Motherhood's Sleeper Bra too for wearing to bed)
[ ] Nursing pads (disposable or reusable cotton)
[ ] Nipple cream
[ ] Nursing pillow
[ ] Pump (even if you plan only to nurse, a pump will allow you to leave milk for baby if you want or need to separate)
[ ] Milk storage bags

Medicine Cabinet
[ ] Baby nail clippers
[ ] Cotton balls
[ ] Baby thermometer (rectal is best and SO easy to do - don't be afraid)
[ ] Bulb syringe/nasal aspirator (steal from the hospital)
[ ] A & D ointment and sterile gauze (for circumcision care)
[ ] Infant acetaminophen (Tylenol)
[ ] Saline nasal drops
[ ] Baby gas drops
[ ] Disinfecting hand sanitizer (for you; great to have on changing table)
Travel
[ ] Infant or convertible car seat
[ ] Stroller
[ ] Diaper bag (backpack style is great - no hands!)
[ ] Changing pad (usually comes with diaper bag)
[ ] Baby carrier/sling

For Mom
[ ] Ice packs (in case of tearing during birth or swelling after)
[ ] 2-3 week supply of ultra absorbent sanitary pads (regardless of vaginal or c-section; the thicker the better)

Must Have Registry Items

I was speaking with a friend who is expecting about registry items and she mentioned that I should post my list of recommened registry items on my blog.  This list does NOT include the essentials but just some of my favorite "add-ons".  I will post a list of essentials as my next post. 

SO - here are my top recommendations in no particular order:


Snap & Go car stroller instead of a big stroller (car seat snaps right in)
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2327597

Summer Infant fleece Swaddle Me & Halo Sleep Sacks (get 2 or 3 and just use them more than once over baby's pajamas)
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3726430
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2809119

Onesies that are kimono style to help protect belly button/umb cord
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3295817

Bouncy seat - fisher price makes a great one, the simpler the better
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3160407

If breastfeeding, The First Years makes a great nipple butter that is lanolin free. I swear by it.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3393716

Dr Brown's or Born Free bottles in a few sizes
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3092104
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2661894

Flannel Multi-purpose pads in large and small sizes - small are great to use on changing table for easy cleaning when baby makes a mess; big ones are great to lay over crib sheet for the same purpose.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2953540
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2838923

California Baby Calendula Cream is great for all of those baby skin needs
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3417813

Cool Mist Humidifier
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3214733

Boppy with an extra cover
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3726483
 
Moby Wrap
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3627713
 

D is so cute

Darling M is definitely in his 4-month wakeful period but it is too cute to frustrate me ... yet. 
After a fabulous weekend with friends, we returned home late last night and put M to bed at his normal time.  We are trying to adopt an earlier bedtime for us so that means that we should be getting into bed by 9:30pm right after M goes down.  So, we got close last night - getting into bed at 10:15pm.  M woke up at 5:15am but I got him and put him in bed with us and he slept for another 90 minutes. 

Here's the cute part - M snuggled his way over to my side of the bed and almost forced me onto the floor.  As D was getting ready for work, M and I slept.  D grabbed the flip cam and took a video of us sleeping abotu 5 inches away from each other.  I just watched it and it is so cute - something that I am sure will make me cry as M gets older.