M will be 4 months old today at 12:06pm. Amazing how time has flown. We are having yet another snow day which is annoying but it IS great to have DH home with us today. M woke up at 5:20am but I brought him into our bed and he slept with us until 7:30am. Those are some of my favorite times - looking at my two beautiful boys as they sleep. M is seriously cute all of the time but there is something so peaceful about watching him sleep. The shape of his lips can make me want to cry. Such a sap!!
On another note, today marks the last day of BM for M. We did our best but because of being diagnosed with a UTI I was put on an antibiotic and had to stop for good. My supply was tanking anyway but this was the end. So we have been going through our frozen stash and it will run out today. It is a little bit sad that BF didn't go as well as I had hoped. I had visions of BF until M was 1 year but I also know that he is healthy and that I did the best I could. More on the journey of BF another day....
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Such a good snowy day
It is always so good to spend time with people who love and care for you. Friends brought breakfast and it was so nice to exist in a world outside of mommyhood for a while, even WITH my LO. It sometimes feels like my brain is working in a big bowl of jell-o because I cannot possibly process things as swiftly or with as much ease as I did pre-baby. I always thought that "mommy brain" was just an excuse but, seriously, it is like your mind operates on your child's level which is fine until you add to that the fact that you exist in a time warp where part of you is back in the world on the day you delivered and another part of you is just so present in the moment. If it weren't for the weather and that reliable lightness/darkness thing I wouldn't have the foggiest clue the month, day, time, or probably even year!!
After our visit, M and I trekked out in the snow for his first facing-in Bjorn ride. It was a trip - for real. I strapped him in, slung the diaper bag over my shoulders and walked the mile or so to my in-laws for the day. It was so great to just be in a place other than our home and M did great on our walk, just looking around at this bizarre white world that surrounded him. As DH quipped during the last snowstorm, bringing M out in the snow would be like taking us on a surprise, blind-folded trip and dropping us on Mars.
I am so grateful to have such an adventurous and flexible little child ....
After our visit, M and I trekked out in the snow for his first facing-in Bjorn ride. It was a trip - for real. I strapped him in, slung the diaper bag over my shoulders and walked the mile or so to my in-laws for the day. It was so great to just be in a place other than our home and M did great on our walk, just looking around at this bizarre white world that surrounded him. As DH quipped during the last snowstorm, bringing M out in the snow would be like taking us on a surprise, blind-folded trip and dropping us on Mars.
I am so grateful to have such an adventurous and flexible little child ....
To work or not to work ... that is the question
So, my big question right now is whether or not I should try to return to the world of working on a part-time basis. Finances are not what they should be and if I am thinking ahead, we will definitely need some time with 2 salaries to allow us to move into a larger house so that we can grow into a larger family. So...what is my next step???
If someone had asked me in September before M arrived what I would do, I would say that I wouldn't return to work unless we were in bad shape financially. If someone had asked me in early November when M was a newborn what I would do, I probably would have said that I didn't want to but would if I had to while secretly being excited to get a small break from non-stop motherhood. Now that M is 4 months old (tomorrow) I am faced with the reality of returning to work and I am really not sure what I want to do. I have grown to really LOVE being home with him and while we have our challenging moments, they are few & far between and our time together is simply the greatest joy I have ever felt.
This will be an ongoing discussion to be sure .... time to give it up to the universe and just listen to what I should do.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
who does this??
i am disgusted by this story of the person/people that left a 2 or 3 year old girl in a gas station bathroom. my heart breaks - that poor girl. i pray that some family member recognizes her and cares for her as she deserves to be cared for.
Abandoned Girl News Story
Abandoned Girl News Story
love love love the good days
gotta love it when things come together and make sense. after much reading online and in my plethora of books, i am learning that this 4-month wakeful period is the root of many "evils" (screaming after only 20 minutes of a nap, fussing to go down for a nap, frequent waking during naps, etc etc etc)
M did better today but it was still my full time job. Good thing he is so cute. Not sure if it is good that he seems to know it. Check out the photo I snapped this morning.
M did better today but it was still my full time job. Good thing he is so cute. Not sure if it is good that he seems to know it. Check out the photo I snapped this morning.
4 - 8 month sleep needs
Day Sleep:
At four months we were focusing on working with naptimes around the clock like the: 9,12,3 schedule (these times are just guidelines to work with and most likely based on a 7am wake time, depending on the wake time the first nap can occur anywhere from 8-9:30am). You might sometimes find that these naps are short and maybe only lasting about 30 minutes which is very common. In this instance you would apply the hour rule of trying not to go to your baby for the last 30 minutes to see if she would put herself back to sleep (if the nap is 20 minutes you would try to wait out the remaining 40 minutes). The more you consistently do this the more likely your child will fall back asleep unassisted and create longer napping.
Being that 4-5 months is still the beginning stages of your baby's ability to have organized day sleep you have to be: patient with it, consistent about the times you are putting your child down, and leaving your child if she wakes up prematurely from a nap. The reason I give an hour is that since daytime is so short you have to limit the time you leave them to go back to sleep somewhat, and let's be realistic in that you can't spend your whole day trying to get her to sleep. The hour seems to work well with most of my families. Remember, this is up to the individual family, if you are not comfortable with your baby fussing at all, then try staying with your baby and rubbing her back and shushing her to sleep for the rest of the hour. On the other hand, if you feel your baby is okay and is not fussing hard, you may choose to leave your baby longer than the hour. You know your baby so you have to go with what you think is right.
At about 6 months your baby will probably be taking 3 naps a day for about an hour or more (3rd nap may be shorter) pretty consistently. However, some babies at this time are taking two longer naps and are not able to take a third nap because it starts too late in the afternoon. The times for these naps may be around 9am and 1pm. For babies who were colicky as infants or premature, day sleep still might not be as organized and naps can be short and inconsistent. For these babies it is important to keep pushing the schedule and keeping with an early bedtime.
At about 8 months those babies who already were taking 2 longer naps a day are continuing their sleep routine. Some though who previously were taking 3 naps a day are starting to take a longer morning and afternoon nap which occurs closer to 1pm. The child is not sleeping for the third nap and/or the nap can only occur late in the afternoon which pushes the bedtime too late.(a third nap starting past 4pm could be too late). Babies who are premature or post-colicky might now be taking 3 naps a day somewhat regularly and might still need to continue the third nap for a couple of more months.
Night Sleep:
If your baby has created a schedule of naptimes around the clock, bedtime would occur anywhere from 6-8pm depending on the schedule and how the naps were for any particular day. You have established a fairly regular bedtime and your baby might have 1-2 feedings a night. In the 4th-5th month your baby still might not be on a consistent day sleep schedule so it is important at this time to have the extra early bedtime even if it's 6pm. The more you keep her rested when naps are not good the quicker the naps will become longer and more consistent. If your child's second nap is ending before 3pm then a 6:30am bedtime might be late enough to avoid an overtired state. On the other hand, if the second nap is ending past 3pm, bedtime could occur around 7pm or later without becoming overtired. If your child is still taking three naps a day bedtime could occur anywhere from 6-7pm depending on how the naps went in general and when the last nap ended.
As I said previously, your child still might need night feedings. You have to be the judge of this of whether or not your child really needs a feeding during the night anymore. For example, if your child has been sleeping 6 hours and wakes up and you go to your child and she nurses or takes a bottle like she is hungry then you probably assume she needs the feeding. However, if you find your child waking up only within a short amount of time after the last feeding of the night, she is not taking to nursing or bottle feeding as she would if she was truly hungry then you might decide your child doesn't need this feeding. What you do with these unnecessary wakenings is up to you. You might decide not to assist and let her put herself back to sleep or you might go in and re-soothe your child. If you see a consistent pattern of this unnecessary nightwaking, it might be an indication that your child is either overtired because she is not getting enough sleep during the day and/or her bedtime might be a little bit too late. You might want to adjust the bedtime for a week or so to see if this unnecessary nightwaking goes away. If it does not it could be a nightwaking habit. In this case you would either stop going in for those nightwakings cold-turkey or do a gradual approach.
from:
http://www.familysleep.com/
At four months we were focusing on working with naptimes around the clock like the: 9,12,3 schedule (these times are just guidelines to work with and most likely based on a 7am wake time, depending on the wake time the first nap can occur anywhere from 8-9:30am). You might sometimes find that these naps are short and maybe only lasting about 30 minutes which is very common. In this instance you would apply the hour rule of trying not to go to your baby for the last 30 minutes to see if she would put herself back to sleep (if the nap is 20 minutes you would try to wait out the remaining 40 minutes). The more you consistently do this the more likely your child will fall back asleep unassisted and create longer napping.
Being that 4-5 months is still the beginning stages of your baby's ability to have organized day sleep you have to be: patient with it, consistent about the times you are putting your child down, and leaving your child if she wakes up prematurely from a nap. The reason I give an hour is that since daytime is so short you have to limit the time you leave them to go back to sleep somewhat, and let's be realistic in that you can't spend your whole day trying to get her to sleep. The hour seems to work well with most of my families. Remember, this is up to the individual family, if you are not comfortable with your baby fussing at all, then try staying with your baby and rubbing her back and shushing her to sleep for the rest of the hour. On the other hand, if you feel your baby is okay and is not fussing hard, you may choose to leave your baby longer than the hour. You know your baby so you have to go with what you think is right.
At about 6 months your baby will probably be taking 3 naps a day for about an hour or more (3rd nap may be shorter) pretty consistently. However, some babies at this time are taking two longer naps and are not able to take a third nap because it starts too late in the afternoon. The times for these naps may be around 9am and 1pm. For babies who were colicky as infants or premature, day sleep still might not be as organized and naps can be short and inconsistent. For these babies it is important to keep pushing the schedule and keeping with an early bedtime.
At about 8 months those babies who already were taking 2 longer naps a day are continuing their sleep routine. Some though who previously were taking 3 naps a day are starting to take a longer morning and afternoon nap which occurs closer to 1pm. The child is not sleeping for the third nap and/or the nap can only occur late in the afternoon which pushes the bedtime too late.(a third nap starting past 4pm could be too late). Babies who are premature or post-colicky might now be taking 3 naps a day somewhat regularly and might still need to continue the third nap for a couple of more months.
Night Sleep:
If your baby has created a schedule of naptimes around the clock, bedtime would occur anywhere from 6-8pm depending on the schedule and how the naps were for any particular day. You have established a fairly regular bedtime and your baby might have 1-2 feedings a night. In the 4th-5th month your baby still might not be on a consistent day sleep schedule so it is important at this time to have the extra early bedtime even if it's 6pm. The more you keep her rested when naps are not good the quicker the naps will become longer and more consistent. If your child's second nap is ending before 3pm then a 6:30am bedtime might be late enough to avoid an overtired state. On the other hand, if the second nap is ending past 3pm, bedtime could occur around 7pm or later without becoming overtired. If your child is still taking three naps a day bedtime could occur anywhere from 6-7pm depending on how the naps went in general and when the last nap ended.
As I said previously, your child still might need night feedings. You have to be the judge of this of whether or not your child really needs a feeding during the night anymore. For example, if your child has been sleeping 6 hours and wakes up and you go to your child and she nurses or takes a bottle like she is hungry then you probably assume she needs the feeding. However, if you find your child waking up only within a short amount of time after the last feeding of the night, she is not taking to nursing or bottle feeding as she would if she was truly hungry then you might decide your child doesn't need this feeding. What you do with these unnecessary wakenings is up to you. You might decide not to assist and let her put herself back to sleep or you might go in and re-soothe your child. If you see a consistent pattern of this unnecessary nightwaking, it might be an indication that your child is either overtired because she is not getting enough sleep during the day and/or her bedtime might be a little bit too late. You might want to adjust the bedtime for a week or so to see if this unnecessary nightwaking goes away. If it does not it could be a nightwaking habit. In this case you would either stop going in for those nightwakings cold-turkey or do a gradual approach.
from:
http://www.familysleep.com/
Some info from www.familysleep.com on 4-month wakeful
4 to 8 months:
At four months we were focusing on working with naptimes around the clock like the: 9,12,3 schedule (these times are just guidelines to work with and most likely based on a 7am wake time, depending on the wake time the first nap can occur anywhere from 8-9:30am). You might sometimes find that these naps are short and maybe only lasting about 30 minutes which is very common. In this instance you would apply the hour rule of trying not to go to your baby for the last 30 minutes to see if she would put herself back to sleep (if the nap is 20 minutes you would try to wait out the remaining 40 minutes). The more you consistently do this the more likely your child will fall back asleep unassisted and create longer napping.
Additional Note: In my experience I have found that naps during this age range can be short for quite some time (even when you have implemented, waiting out the full hour). What I recommend in this situation is to be consistent as possible on the time that you put them down for the naps. You need to put your child down for those naps consistently at around the same time everyday. You might have to stretch the wakeful period from the morning wake time to get to the first nap. Use a best scenario to worst case scenario timing for these naps and follow it as consistently as possible. Let's say she woke up earlier than usual, before 6am. In this case this might be a worse case scenario day where you will attempt a nap at around 8-8:15am instead of your 8:30-8:45am nap. Naptimes should be flexible but within a short time frame, from your typical schedule you might start the nap 1/2 hour either way depending on the wake time.
Being that 4-5 months is still the beginning stages of your baby's ability to have organized day sleep you have to be: patient with it, consistent about the times you are putting your child down, and leaving your child if she wakes up prematurely from a nap. The reason I give an hour is that since daytime is so short you have to limit the time you leave them to go back to sleep somewhat, and let's be realistic in that you can't spend your whole day trying to get her to sleep. The hour seems to work well with most of my families. Remember, this is up to the individual family, if you are not comfortable with your baby fussing at all, then try staying with your baby and rubbing her back and shushing her to sleep for the rest of the hour. On the other hand, if you feel your baby is okay and is not fussing hard, you may choose to leave your baby longer than the hour. You know your baby so you have to go with what you think is right.
At about 6 months your baby will probably be taking 3 naps a day for about an hour or more (3rd nap may be shorter) pretty consistently. However, some babies at this time are taking two longer naps and are not able to take a third nap because it starts too late in the afternoon. The times for these naps may be around 9am and 1pm. For babies who were colicky as infants or premature, day sleep still might not be as organized and naps can be short and inconsistent. For these babies it is important to keep pushing the schedule and keeping with an early bedtime.
At about 8 months those babies who already were taking 2 longer naps a day are continuing their sleep routine. Some though who previously were taking 3 naps a day are starting to take a longer morning and afternoon nap which occurs closer to 1pm. The child is not sleeping for the third nap and/or the nap can only occur late in the afternoon which pushes the bedtime too late.(a third nap starting past 4pm could be too late). Babies who are premature or post-colicky might now be taking 3 naps a day somewhat regularly and might still need to continue the third nap for a couple of more months.
http://www.familysleep.com/
At four months we were focusing on working with naptimes around the clock like the: 9,12,3 schedule (these times are just guidelines to work with and most likely based on a 7am wake time, depending on the wake time the first nap can occur anywhere from 8-9:30am). You might sometimes find that these naps are short and maybe only lasting about 30 minutes which is very common. In this instance you would apply the hour rule of trying not to go to your baby for the last 30 minutes to see if she would put herself back to sleep (if the nap is 20 minutes you would try to wait out the remaining 40 minutes). The more you consistently do this the more likely your child will fall back asleep unassisted and create longer napping.
Additional Note: In my experience I have found that naps during this age range can be short for quite some time (even when you have implemented, waiting out the full hour). What I recommend in this situation is to be consistent as possible on the time that you put them down for the naps. You need to put your child down for those naps consistently at around the same time everyday. You might have to stretch the wakeful period from the morning wake time to get to the first nap. Use a best scenario to worst case scenario timing for these naps and follow it as consistently as possible. Let's say she woke up earlier than usual, before 6am. In this case this might be a worse case scenario day where you will attempt a nap at around 8-8:15am instead of your 8:30-8:45am nap. Naptimes should be flexible but within a short time frame, from your typical schedule you might start the nap 1/2 hour either way depending on the wake time.
Being that 4-5 months is still the beginning stages of your baby's ability to have organized day sleep you have to be: patient with it, consistent about the times you are putting your child down, and leaving your child if she wakes up prematurely from a nap. The reason I give an hour is that since daytime is so short you have to limit the time you leave them to go back to sleep somewhat, and let's be realistic in that you can't spend your whole day trying to get her to sleep. The hour seems to work well with most of my families. Remember, this is up to the individual family, if you are not comfortable with your baby fussing at all, then try staying with your baby and rubbing her back and shushing her to sleep for the rest of the hour. On the other hand, if you feel your baby is okay and is not fussing hard, you may choose to leave your baby longer than the hour. You know your baby so you have to go with what you think is right.
At about 6 months your baby will probably be taking 3 naps a day for about an hour or more (3rd nap may be shorter) pretty consistently. However, some babies at this time are taking two longer naps and are not able to take a third nap because it starts too late in the afternoon. The times for these naps may be around 9am and 1pm. For babies who were colicky as infants or premature, day sleep still might not be as organized and naps can be short and inconsistent. For these babies it is important to keep pushing the schedule and keeping with an early bedtime.
At about 8 months those babies who already were taking 2 longer naps a day are continuing their sleep routine. Some though who previously were taking 3 naps a day are starting to take a longer morning and afternoon nap which occurs closer to 1pm. The child is not sleeping for the third nap and/or the nap can only occur late in the afternoon which pushes the bedtime too late.(a third nap starting past 4pm could be too late). Babies who are premature or post-colicky might now be taking 3 naps a day somewhat regularly and might still need to continue the third nap for a couple of more months.
http://www.familysleep.com/
Oh yes, folks, we've entered the 4-month wakeful phase
DS has always been a pretty good sleeper. But the past few days have been some of our toughest. In fact, DH told me that I was being "stern" with our beloved yesterday which broke my heart. I know that I was frustrated because he wasn't happy anywhere for about 4 hours yesterday but I was still trying to be loving. I guess from an outside point of view, though, it might have been stern. Oh well - I am his mother so he should probably get used to it. :) I just believe in honesty so as DH was walking in the door, M and I were having a chat - he in his bouncy seat and me on the floor facing him. I was just explaining to him that he was tired and that he needed to rest a bit so that we could play. I told him that it didn't matter to me where he slept or with whom/what so long as he got some much-needed rest. I was being matter of fact - loving but direct. He was watching me intently so I figured he was getting it. Looking back, I am sure it was a ridiculous scene, me talking to our almost-4-month-old as though he was 24. :)
And, once again the waking from nap is occurring so I must go and soothe him....until later. :)
And, once again the waking from nap is occurring so I must go and soothe him....until later. :)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Ahh, naptime...why must you elude me?
I am sitting here listening to DH try to get DS to take a nap. It has been over an hour. I am not sure why DS doesn't want to nap. I contemplate going in to try to intervene but I stop myself - I must not be the controlling person that I once was. I must allow DH to figure out his own way with DS (which he has done in all other areas other than napping). There are times, however, when these moments are just too much for me. Patience and flexibility....this is my mantra.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
So where did this all start...
I am one for back stories, so I figured I should provide one of my own. Won't go into history with DH on this one, but how about a nice heart-warming birth story??
DH and I found out that we were pregnant on February 8, 2009. We had been trying for about 5 months and finally, we got the BFP on our pregnancy test. It was an awesome day and I had a wonderful pregnancy with no complications, thank God. My due date was set for October 20, 2009 and so it began....
October 20th came and went without so much as a peep from in there. Our darling mystery seemed perfectly content to just hang out in the womb (i mean, who wouldn't??). So, I patiently waited and tried lots of the tricks for jumpstarting labor (evening primrose, spicy food, eggplant parm, other stuff, etc.) I wasn't uncomfortable or anything but I was trying to avoid the dreaded induction. You see, I knew before we even started TTC that I wanted to "go natural" so induction was really not interesting to me at all!
On October 25th, DH and I went for a long walk in the park and then picked up Chinese food. We ate that and then went for a tour of a local mansion with, yes, more walking. Came home and had some soup for dinner and went to bed. Again, no so much as a whisper from my loins when we laid down. At about 12:45am, I woke up for the first of my 5 routine trips to "water the plants" and felt different. Took a look at the clock and realized I felt the same way about 15 minutes later.
Flash forward to 3:30am - woke up DH to tell him I was in labor. Labored on the ball and in bed - felt pretty great and very excited. Called my mom at 5:00am and told her to make her way down here. While we waited for her, I took a shower and washed/dryed my hair. I know that some people think that was crazy, but for me - it worked for 2 reasons. 1) It gave me something to do and 2) It helped me to keep from looking like a complete zombie.
We labored at home until about 7:45am, when contractions were anywhere from 3-5 minutes apart. Drove to the hospital (having 3 torturous contractions in the car) and went to the L&D floor (after scaring the poor SOB who thought it would be smart to ride the elevator with a woman in labor - poor guy!).
I had called ahead and pre-registered so I figured checking in would be a breeze. Um, no. First, we had to wait for the receptionist to answer the bell. When she came to the window, she said "What can I do for you?" Had I been of sound mind, I would have replied "Oh, nothing. Just passing through". But, as I was doubled over on my birthing ball in front of all of the nice people in the waiting room, I just said "I am in labor..I called ahead?" After about 5 minutes of her finding my paperwork, she finally unlocked the big doors to let us in.
I got myself settled onto the bed and never even put on a gown because I was too anxious to see how far along we were and I figured I had time. (HA HA HA). So, there I laid in my nursing tank top in all of my glory for anyone who entered the room to see. At 8:30am, I was 8 cm dilated and at +2 station. I was so proud of myself that I made it to 8 cm and was doing pretty well as far as pain management was concerned.
Well - then the drama began. I was group B strep positive (GBS+) so I had to have a course of antibiotics via IV during labor. That, plus the monitors, kept me confined to my bed, much to my dismay. I had labored on my birth ball all morning and laying in bed was not my preferred position. I tried to squat in bed, but that was really hard. I tried getting on all fours, but that was also energy-draining. Everything was moving so quickly and not at all how I had pictured in my head. I had envisioned this serene and quiet birthing room with music and focal points etc etc etc. Instead, I kept getting hooked up to things and checked by doctors and nurses all the while managing the contractions. Ugh.
At 10:45am, I was 9cm and +1 station. My water broke, which felt awesome. The attending ob told me that I was doing great, would not need drugs if I had made it this far and that I would probably be pushing in 30-45 minutes. I could do this..I felt it. I used a bed pan for the first time and found the bars of the bed to be an amazing counter-pressure point for my face (although I am sure that I was freaking my DH and Mom out by trying to shove my face through the side of the bed)
An hour later, I was in so much pain and felt so much pressure in my nether region that I was begging to push. Then, the most painful experience I ever had occured - the attending ob said that she wanted to examine me while I was having a contraction to see if the remaining lip of cervix was disappearing with contractions. I agreed because, hell, if it meant I could push I was all for it. Until she put her hand you know where and I contracted. I think I must have looked like Linda Blair in the Exocist because I screamed for her to GET OUT!!!
Just then, my worst fears were realized. The nurse came over, put an oxygen mask on me, and told me to take some long, deep breaths. I watched my mom and DH looking at the fetal monitor and then to the nurse. My OB came in and examined me - my cervix had actually swollen a bit and was back closer to 8 cm. I was devastated. I hung in there until 11:45am but then my OB took a look at the fetal monitor and told me that my little one's heart tones had dropped and were not coming back up. She told me that an emegency c-section was in our very near future. I was so sad - I looked at my husband and mom and just broke down. They grabbed my husband and threw scrubs at him. They threw a sheet over me and wheeled me away. 5 minutes later, they made their first incision, my DH came into the operating room, and then at 12:06pm, my darling little son was born. Screaming.
Turns out, his foot was wrapped in the UC and when I was contracting, it was cutting off ciruclation to him. He was fine - better than fine - but I was in shock. I couldn't believe that he was here. That quickly. I just was trying to take it all in and absorb the fact that I was a mom now. The journey had begun . . .
DH and I found out that we were pregnant on February 8, 2009. We had been trying for about 5 months and finally, we got the BFP on our pregnancy test. It was an awesome day and I had a wonderful pregnancy with no complications, thank God. My due date was set for October 20, 2009 and so it began....
October 20th came and went without so much as a peep from in there. Our darling mystery seemed perfectly content to just hang out in the womb (i mean, who wouldn't??). So, I patiently waited and tried lots of the tricks for jumpstarting labor (evening primrose, spicy food, eggplant parm, other stuff, etc.) I wasn't uncomfortable or anything but I was trying to avoid the dreaded induction. You see, I knew before we even started TTC that I wanted to "go natural" so induction was really not interesting to me at all!
On October 25th, DH and I went for a long walk in the park and then picked up Chinese food. We ate that and then went for a tour of a local mansion with, yes, more walking. Came home and had some soup for dinner and went to bed. Again, no so much as a whisper from my loins when we laid down. At about 12:45am, I woke up for the first of my 5 routine trips to "water the plants" and felt different. Took a look at the clock and realized I felt the same way about 15 minutes later.
Flash forward to 3:30am - woke up DH to tell him I was in labor. Labored on the ball and in bed - felt pretty great and very excited. Called my mom at 5:00am and told her to make her way down here. While we waited for her, I took a shower and washed/dryed my hair. I know that some people think that was crazy, but for me - it worked for 2 reasons. 1) It gave me something to do and 2) It helped me to keep from looking like a complete zombie.
We labored at home until about 7:45am, when contractions were anywhere from 3-5 minutes apart. Drove to the hospital (having 3 torturous contractions in the car) and went to the L&D floor (after scaring the poor SOB who thought it would be smart to ride the elevator with a woman in labor - poor guy!).
I had called ahead and pre-registered so I figured checking in would be a breeze. Um, no. First, we had to wait for the receptionist to answer the bell. When she came to the window, she said "What can I do for you?" Had I been of sound mind, I would have replied "Oh, nothing. Just passing through". But, as I was doubled over on my birthing ball in front of all of the nice people in the waiting room, I just said "I am in labor..I called ahead?" After about 5 minutes of her finding my paperwork, she finally unlocked the big doors to let us in.
I got myself settled onto the bed and never even put on a gown because I was too anxious to see how far along we were and I figured I had time. (HA HA HA). So, there I laid in my nursing tank top in all of my glory for anyone who entered the room to see. At 8:30am, I was 8 cm dilated and at +2 station. I was so proud of myself that I made it to 8 cm and was doing pretty well as far as pain management was concerned.
Well - then the drama began. I was group B strep positive (GBS+) so I had to have a course of antibiotics via IV during labor. That, plus the monitors, kept me confined to my bed, much to my dismay. I had labored on my birth ball all morning and laying in bed was not my preferred position. I tried to squat in bed, but that was really hard. I tried getting on all fours, but that was also energy-draining. Everything was moving so quickly and not at all how I had pictured in my head. I had envisioned this serene and quiet birthing room with music and focal points etc etc etc. Instead, I kept getting hooked up to things and checked by doctors and nurses all the while managing the contractions. Ugh.
At 10:45am, I was 9cm and +1 station. My water broke, which felt awesome. The attending ob told me that I was doing great, would not need drugs if I had made it this far and that I would probably be pushing in 30-45 minutes. I could do this..I felt it. I used a bed pan for the first time and found the bars of the bed to be an amazing counter-pressure point for my face (although I am sure that I was freaking my DH and Mom out by trying to shove my face through the side of the bed)
An hour later, I was in so much pain and felt so much pressure in my nether region that I was begging to push. Then, the most painful experience I ever had occured - the attending ob said that she wanted to examine me while I was having a contraction to see if the remaining lip of cervix was disappearing with contractions. I agreed because, hell, if it meant I could push I was all for it. Until she put her hand you know where and I contracted. I think I must have looked like Linda Blair in the Exocist because I screamed for her to GET OUT!!!
Just then, my worst fears were realized. The nurse came over, put an oxygen mask on me, and told me to take some long, deep breaths. I watched my mom and DH looking at the fetal monitor and then to the nurse. My OB came in and examined me - my cervix had actually swollen a bit and was back closer to 8 cm. I was devastated. I hung in there until 11:45am but then my OB took a look at the fetal monitor and told me that my little one's heart tones had dropped and were not coming back up. She told me that an emegency c-section was in our very near future. I was so sad - I looked at my husband and mom and just broke down. They grabbed my husband and threw scrubs at him. They threw a sheet over me and wheeled me away. 5 minutes later, they made their first incision, my DH came into the operating room, and then at 12:06pm, my darling little son was born. Screaming.
Turns out, his foot was wrapped in the UC and when I was contracting, it was cutting off ciruclation to him. He was fine - better than fine - but I was in shock. I couldn't believe that he was here. That quickly. I just was trying to take it all in and absorb the fact that I was a mom now. The journey had begun . . .
Finally got to my blog
For months I have been trying to start this blog but never got around to it. Now that DS is almost 4 months old, I am finally taking the time to start it.
So - a few clarifications...
What this blog is:
What this blog is not:
So - a few clarifications...
What this blog is:
- a place for me to discuss the daily happenings of new motherhood
- a place to provide tidbits of advice, information that is passed to me about motherhood, etc.
- a place to vent about frustrations
What this blog is not:
- my ego inflating itself
- a one-way only attempt at explaining this amazing journey of parenthood
- a professional writer's way of expressing herself
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