Been a while . . .

It's been a while - so much going on in this crazy life.  On this Mother's Day Eve, though, I find myself contemplating this new role. 

I just finished reading "Lift" by Kelly Corrigan.  What a book!  I am definitely planning to write something to my children as a tribute to her.  Here it is if you haven't heard of it/read it yet. 














Add that to the article I just read in Parents magazine about a mother of 3 traveling solo with them and I find myself in a bizarre contemplative state. 

When I married D, I knew that I had married my best friend and the person I wanted to create & raise children with.  He is just an incredible person and I felt honored to be matched with him.  Our marriage has been wonderful and I am grateful for him every day.  Then, we got pregnant and 6 months ago, we became parents to M.  I fell in love with a completely new side of D that was born when M was.  What an incredible father!  He is willing to do anything and he really looks forward to his time with M. 

With all of that being said, however, I find that there really is nothing quite like a mom.  I always thought before M was born that we would "team parent" just like we have "team-wed" since our marriage.  We make all of our decisions together and we prefer being with each other to anyone else.  I had this vision that we would share parenting duties as well and that we would be, somewhat, inter-changeable.  Wow - was I wrong! 

D has an incredible relationship with M but it is obvious to me that the relationship between Father & Son is markedly different than that of Mother & Son.  Equally important and essential, of course, but different.  While D is for playing and laughing, I land in the realm of reality more often that he does.  How do we put him to bed?  Do we let M cry it out or do we rock him to sleep?  When and what do we feed him?  Is it ok to go out for a while or will that interrupt his nap schedule?  And, if it does, what does that mean for M? 

At first, this was a hard transition for me because I felt a little bit alone and let down, in a way, that this wasn't the vision that I had of how we would parent.  I resented D a bit, because he was seemingly more balanced in his life of work, family, social life, etc.  I found it unnerving, really, that he always looked to me for the answers. 

Until now ....

Now I realize that I have a special gift and that I am not alone.  I share that gift with every other woman who becomes a mom.  We are mothers and, frankly, there isn't anyone or anything that can compare to that.  We are the playmates, the schedulers, the decision-makers, the boo-boo kissers, the meal makers, the mess cleaner uppers, the ones who make a big deal out of one little smile or one new skill attained.  We love unconditionally and always find ways to lovingly teach in every moment.  We read and read and read and read so that we are sure that we know the latest and greatest for our kids.  We compare diapers, bottles, food, poopie, playgrounds, strollers, toys, books.  We choose the best whatever...every time; even if it means we go without.  We buy organic and mash until our hands are sore.  We forget to brush our hair, our teeth because our little ones are doing the cutest whatever in that moment. 

It took 6 months and a handful of days to realize that motherhood is not to be shared with your spouse.  They have their own role in your child's life, which is just as important.  I embrace this role of mother and know that God has blessed me with the opportunity to be M's mommy.  

Happy Mother's Day