The "real" cry

So, it has arrived.  Gone are the days of the somewhat-cute whimpering cry of my little baby boy and here are the days of a real, honest-to-goodness cry.  He wasn't screaming or anything but last night, he started to really cry.  It was so sad.  He had wet through his onesie and when we went in to change and resettle him, he was really crying.  It broke my heart.  He had been producing tears since birth but these tears had real meaning.  He was upset and that was obvious.  He had been sleeping comfortably and then was awakened by that terrible wet/cold sensation.  And, Mommy & Daddy were not right there. 

I fear that we are entered a new phase of attachment to us and worry that we are about to embark on this new journey of helping M to learn how to settle himself.  I am NOT looking forward to it. 

Could M really want to go to bed EARLIER???

So, we have been trying to put M down between 7:30-8pm.  With his eating schedule, it just made sense.  I couldn't imagine that the boy would want to eat sooner than 2 1/2 hours since his last bottle and less than 90 minutes since his last solid foods.  The last few nights have been ridiculous in our household because M has been wired and rammy when we try to put him to bed at his "normal" time.  I couldn't figure it out.  He would drink and then push it away.  He would cuddle and then squirm and push me away.  It was getting on my NERVES!  Last night, I looked at D after an hour of this bedtime-nonsense with a look that was probably a bit shocking but I was spent! 

Thought about some advice I got from a girlfriend on Tuesday --- perhaps M was over-tired and he just wouldn't be able to turn the corner to go to sleep if his was already in this sleep-deprived-rant with his eyes bugging out of his head. 

So, tonight was a GREAT NIGHT. 

Picked up M after work to learn that he didn't nap (oh no - here we go).  But, he held it together and didn't fall asleep after his 5pm bottle.  We played and then we sat down to have dinner at 6pm.  M joined us for the first time at the table in his booster seat and had some yogurt while we had our dinner.  He had a great time.  He started to get fussy at 6:30 so D took him out and I had this epiphany .... time for bed. 

So, made his bottle and took him up.  Changed him into a nighttime diaper, gave him his Hyland's and a bit of generic Tylenol to help with this incessant teething, and gave him his bottle.  He was relaxed and eating like a champ.  Got to 1/2 oz remaining and he pulled the bottle out, smacked his lips (seriously) and then closed his eyes.  I put him on my shoulder to burp and there he rested for 8 minutes before I laid him down. 

He went right to sleep.  I even stayed in his room by the window to read for a bit (which has been my nightly position during the past 3 nights) and watched him reposition himself a few time before settling into that mouth-gaping-open sleep.  The kind I envy and think about doing every time I see him in that gorgeous place. 

So - my boy was TIRED!!!  Who knew???!!!! 

Things I will remember if/when #2 comes along

#2 is barely even a topic of conversation as a possibility for us but this morning, a few things dawned on me that I want to remember when #2 comes along:

1. Nap when the baby naps.  (will be tough if M is a toddler at home)
2. Get help with nursing from Day 1 and advocate until I get the answer that I need/want so that I can continue to nurse
3. Start to lay the baby down awake to go to sleep.  Then rocking will be a little treat instead of necessity.
4. Let people help me.  With everything. 
5. Don't feel guilty or ashamed to get a family member to watch the baby so that D & I can have some marriage time.
6. Save up enough money to pay someone to clean the house.
7. Get in the habit of using a cloth diaper system. 
8. Get 2-3 glass Dr. Bronner's bottles.  The plastic ones don't get nearly as clean as I would like them to (although I am sure that I am a bit obsessive)
9. Get in an exercise, eating, & showering routine right away so that I always remember to take those minutes for myself to make ME feel good. 
10. Don't be afraid to let others know when I am feeling lonely or when I am needing some time to myself. 

Seriously -- he wet through again???

M is doing it again....he is sleeping through the night minus the nights that he wets through his diaper, pajamas, and sheet.  He did this several months ago before we switched him to #3 diapers but he is doing it again.  It is incredible how much this boy pees!!

My amazing mama bought him some #4 diapers, but they are just longer.  They don't seem like they will hold any "extra" liquid.  So, now I am in the market for either overnight jobs and/or diapers made for boys.  I have read that they make overnight diapers in size 3 so I will try them.  My MIL told me about diapers for boys but I cannot seem to find them . . . yet. 

The craziest part about it is that I have managed (not yet mastered, but on my way) to change M, change the crib sheet, replace the crib sheet, rediaper & re-pajama M all while he remains sleeping.  One night, my darling hubby got up to "help" me but frankly, it was easier to do on my own.  The first thing he wanted to do was turn on the light.  Good thing he is thick-skinned because the look that accompanied my hushed "NO" was a doozy!! 

Ah, the skills that are acquired by mothers are incredibly impressive and hardly recognized.

Last Night was one of those nights . . .

I should have known.  When M skipped his afternoon nap, I should have known that we were in for an interesting night.  He had a great morning nap and even zonked out on me for a quick catnap while visiting some relatives for lunch.  I thought ... what a great day he's having.  I'll go to bed when he goes to bed tonight and tomorrow we will be so refreshed and awake. 

Then, everything changed.  He had lunch about an hour later than usual which altered his normal nap time.  I tried to get him to nap even for 45 minutes before his bottle around 5ish but no dice.  And, he wasn't really hungry so we got him showered and then gave him his bottle, of which he consumed about 3/4 before passing out on D's arm for 40 minutes.  He woke up and finished his bottle but then was so fussy and sleepy that I took him upstairs and he was asleep in a few minutes.  He fussed a few times before we went to bed around 10:30 but he never fully woke up.

Until 1:30am. 

Good morning, mama & dada.  Wide awake and fussing so we made him a bottle and he drank the whole thing down and passed out before we could even lay him down.  But, then when we tried to lay him down he wasn't having it.  After an hour of attempting to settle him we both knew that this was ridiculous so at 3:30am he joined us in bed. 

Needless to say, that whole notion of refreshed and awake went out the window.  I am now going with conscious and zombie-like.  Come on, coffee!

A Great Website - EcoMom™ Community

EcoMom™ Community

I love this website for advice and products. 

A New World has opened up . . .

M has been working on a new skill and I am proud to say that he has figured out how to sit up unsupported.  He has been sitting supported for a while and has been "practicing" sitting up on his own but today, he figured it out.  He even started to topple over a few times and caught himself. 

He now can observe life and participate in a whole new set of activities and he is loving it!!!  He is also VERY close to rolling back to front but I am convinced that he CAN do it but that he CHOOSES not to.  For example, if I tickle him on his back, he rolls over.  He just doesn't propel himself without the motivation (to get away from the tickle torture!). 

It is AWESOME watching my little man learn all sorts of new things. 

Been a while . . .

It's been a while - so much going on in this crazy life.  On this Mother's Day Eve, though, I find myself contemplating this new role. 

I just finished reading "Lift" by Kelly Corrigan.  What a book!  I am definitely planning to write something to my children as a tribute to her.  Here it is if you haven't heard of it/read it yet. 














Add that to the article I just read in Parents magazine about a mother of 3 traveling solo with them and I find myself in a bizarre contemplative state. 

When I married D, I knew that I had married my best friend and the person I wanted to create & raise children with.  He is just an incredible person and I felt honored to be matched with him.  Our marriage has been wonderful and I am grateful for him every day.  Then, we got pregnant and 6 months ago, we became parents to M.  I fell in love with a completely new side of D that was born when M was.  What an incredible father!  He is willing to do anything and he really looks forward to his time with M. 

With all of that being said, however, I find that there really is nothing quite like a mom.  I always thought before M was born that we would "team parent" just like we have "team-wed" since our marriage.  We make all of our decisions together and we prefer being with each other to anyone else.  I had this vision that we would share parenting duties as well and that we would be, somewhat, inter-changeable.  Wow - was I wrong! 

D has an incredible relationship with M but it is obvious to me that the relationship between Father & Son is markedly different than that of Mother & Son.  Equally important and essential, of course, but different.  While D is for playing and laughing, I land in the realm of reality more often that he does.  How do we put him to bed?  Do we let M cry it out or do we rock him to sleep?  When and what do we feed him?  Is it ok to go out for a while or will that interrupt his nap schedule?  And, if it does, what does that mean for M? 

At first, this was a hard transition for me because I felt a little bit alone and let down, in a way, that this wasn't the vision that I had of how we would parent.  I resented D a bit, because he was seemingly more balanced in his life of work, family, social life, etc.  I found it unnerving, really, that he always looked to me for the answers. 

Until now ....

Now I realize that I have a special gift and that I am not alone.  I share that gift with every other woman who becomes a mom.  We are mothers and, frankly, there isn't anyone or anything that can compare to that.  We are the playmates, the schedulers, the decision-makers, the boo-boo kissers, the meal makers, the mess cleaner uppers, the ones who make a big deal out of one little smile or one new skill attained.  We love unconditionally and always find ways to lovingly teach in every moment.  We read and read and read and read so that we are sure that we know the latest and greatest for our kids.  We compare diapers, bottles, food, poopie, playgrounds, strollers, toys, books.  We choose the best whatever...every time; even if it means we go without.  We buy organic and mash until our hands are sore.  We forget to brush our hair, our teeth because our little ones are doing the cutest whatever in that moment. 

It took 6 months and a handful of days to realize that motherhood is not to be shared with your spouse.  They have their own role in your child's life, which is just as important.  I embrace this role of mother and know that God has blessed me with the opportunity to be M's mommy.  

Happy Mother's Day 

Screaming fits

M has been a delightful baby since birth.  He always had a set of lungs on him, but he rarely screamed or cried unless he needed something.  He hasn't ever really "lost it" . . . until now.  A week ago, we were at my in-laws for our weekly dinner and a family friend was there.  He was in the house about 10 minutes before totally losing it - screaming, crying, tears, the works.  I picked him up and cuddled him and he calmed down but was easily brought back to screaming-mode if someone got too close to him or talked to him. 

Then, on Sunday, it happened again at our spiritual house.  He has been there almost every week since birth but after the meeting, he was walking around with D and he lost it again. 

Yesterday, while being watched by my mom and MIL, he did it again. 

I think we may have crossed into the realm of over-stimulation + separation anxiety = screaming.  FUN!

Are carrots ok for babies?

So, I had already given M a jar of Earth's Best carrots when I went back to my Food Bible, Super Baby Food (see link at the bottom if you want to get yourself a copy). 

Anyway, much to my surprise, Ruth does not recommend carrots for babies under 7 months of age.  I had no idea as the Earth's Balance jar said 4 months+.  Sooooo, of course, I did some research about why.  Here is what I found from Wholesome Baby Food. 

First Things First - What are the odds that your baby will get Nitrate Poisoning/Blue Baby Syndrome from Homemade Carrots?
It is important to note that the odds of your baby getting "Blue Baby Syndrome" nitrate poisoning from Carrots or other veggies is about 0%.
Yes, 0% - zero percent.

By the time you introduce solid foods to your baby, his tummy should be developed enough to handle "normal" nitrate exposure.

AAP Statements from Policy Papers
"Because the intake of naturally occurring nitrates from foods such as green beans, carrots, squash, spinach, and beets can be as high as or higher than that from well water, these foods should be avoided before 3 months of age, " and

"1. The greatest risk of nitrate poisoning (methemoglobinemia) occurs in infants fed well water contaminated with nitrates. All prenatal and well-infant visits should include questions about the home water supply. If the source is a private well, the water should be tested for nitrate. The nitrate nitrogen concentration of the water should be <10 ppm.

2. Infants fed commercially prepared infant foods generally are not at risk of nitrate poisoning. However, home-prepared infant foods from vegetables (eg, spinach, beets, green beans, squash, carrots) should be avoided until infants are 3 months or older, although there is no nutritional indication to add complementary foods to the diet of the healthy term infant before 4 to 6 months of age." American Academy of Pediatrics - Nitrate Statement.

and "Because vegetables, including green beans, carrots, squash, spinach and beets, can have nitrate levels as high or higher than that of well water, infants should not eat these foods until after age 3 months."

AAP Well Water Statement

The highest concentration of nitrates occurs in water, root vegetables and leafy vegetables such as spinach, lettuce and other greens.

The concentration and amount of occurring nitrates will vary depending on the type of vegetable, the temperature that it is grown at, the sunlight exposure, soil moisture levels and the level of natural nitrogen in the soil.

Foods that tend to accumulate the highest amount of nitrate include:

• spinach
• beets
• cabbage
• broccoli
• carrots

Root vegetables such as carrots, beets and broccoli all contain nitrates though at a much lower level than do the leafys. Leafy vegetables include spinach, cabbage or other greens like Kale.

For spinach, its nitrate levels may actually increase with improper storage,so it's recommended around 8 months old.

When we first hear of nitrates and carrots, “Blue Baby Syndrome” and homemade baby food, it is often with a bit of fear and trepidation that we proceed to make baby’s food. We wish to do the best for our babies and we certainly do not want to poison them. Let’s take a moment to look at the facts about nitrates, infants and making baby food.

Nitrates are naturally occurring nitrogen/oxygen salt compounds found in almost every vegetable that we eat and the soils they are grown in. Nitrates are also laboratory formulated and used in fertilizers. Nitrates are ingested either from vegetables or drinking water. Nitrates/nitrites have been found to be responsible for "Blue Baby Syndrome." Adults are not affected by nitrates or nitrites because their stomachs produce acids that fight the bacteria that help convert nitrates into nitrites. This conversion, and the resulting nitrite, is what allows for nitrate poisoning or “Blue Baby Syndrome.”

The name “Blue Baby Syndrome” stems from the fact that nitrites hinder proper oxygen transportation in the red blood cells. “Once in the blood, nitrite oxidizes iron in the hemoglobin of red blood cells to form methemoglobin, which lacks hemoglobin's oxygen-carrying ability.”1 Without proper oxygen saturation in the blood, the body’s cells become oxygen deprived and the skin takes on a blue or purple hue. This oxygen deprivation may lead to the slow asphyxiation of the person poisoned.

"The most obvious symptom of nitrate poisoning is a bluish color of the skin, particularly around the eyes and mouth. This is called cyanosis. A baby with these symptoms should be taken to an emergency medical facility immediately. The doctor will take a blood sample to be sure the baby is suffering from nitrate poisoning. The blood sample of an affected baby is a chocolate brown instead of a healthy red. Nitrate poisoning can be treated, and in most cases the baby makes a full recovery. http://ohioline.osu.edu/b744/b744_2.html

It is important to note that the odds of your baby getting "Blue Baby Syndrome" nitrate poisoning from Carrots or other veggies is about 0%. By the time you introduce solid foods to your baby, his tummy should be developed enough to handle "normal" nitrate exposure.

"Around the age of three months, an increase in the amount of hydrochloric acid in a baby's stomach kills most of the bacteria that convert nitrate to nitrite. By the time a baby is six months old, its digestive system is fully developed, and none of the nitrate-converting bacteria remain. In older children and adults, nitrate is absorbed and excreted, and Methemoglobinemia is no longer a concern." http://ohioline.osu.edu/b744/b744_2.html

Yes, while nitrates are an important issue, they are highly unlikely to poison your baby from the carrots that you make. Many pediatricians will tell you to not make homemade carrots while many other pediatricians will shrug off Nitrates and tell you there is no issue and no risk.

Nitrate poisoning is very very rare and when it does occur, it is typically traced back to ground water contamination – specifically from contaminated private wells.

If you prefer to make your own homemade baby foods vegetables that may contain nitrates, an alternative is to choose organic produce.

Organic foods are grown without the use of commercial nitrate fertilizers and thus the risk of nitrate contamination/concentration is minimized, but not eliminated.

So who is most at risk for nitrate poisoning? People who have private wells are at risk for nitrate exposure; Babies under the age of 6 months old are most at risk and babies under the age of 3 months old even more so.

Babies who are over the age of 6 months old have developed the stomach acids necessary to fight the bacteria that helps nitrate conversion and subsequent nitrate poisoning. Infants who are formula fed and live on farms or in highly agricultural areas may also be at greater risk. Nitrates used in farming, and the excess not taken in by the crop itself, easily run-off and may seep into water tables, contaminating water supplies.

As mentioned earlier, nitrate poisoning is very rare and when it does occur, it is typically traced back to ground water contamination – specifically from contaminated private wells.  If you have any doubts or fears, please speak to your pediatrician.

The solid foods continue . . .

Feeding M solid foods (and I use the term solid very loosely, no pun intended) is hysterical and truly one of the highlights of parenthood so far.  He is an incredibly eager and adventurous eater and has done a phenomenal job with everything that we've given him so far. 

He has had (in order of introduction to M):

• Rice Cereal
• Sweet Potatoes
• Avocado
• Banana
• Squash
• Carrots
• Pears

He has loved all of them, but avocado and sweet potatoes seem to be his favorite right now.  He still makes a funny face when eating bananas - must be the strong flavor in them. 

We used mostly Earth's Best baby food because I didn't have time to prepare our own.  The pedi wanted us to get started right away, so I just used what I had purchased the week before as our "back ups".  We used fresh avocados and bananas and mashing them up was just as easy as popping open the jar of food. 

Today, I am starting on the mass preparation of baby food for M for next week.  I have 2 freezer trays with lids that I am going to use and I just baked 5 sweet potatoes in the oven.  I mashed them by hand and then will run through them with the hand-mixer to pull out any of those nasty choke-inducing strands.  Then, into the freezer cubes they will go.  This is very exciting!

I am also trying to ripen 4 avocados in a brown paper bag to add to the freezer tray.  We'll see how that goes. 

The next food I am planning to introduce is prunes or peas.  We shall see how those go over with Prince M. 

Could it be??

Could my little boy really be preparing to welcome his first tooth?  I don't know but I have a sneaking suspicion.  He has been gnawing on everything in sight, including his hand, for a while but he seemed to really amp it up the last 2 days.  Yesterday, he must have had his hand in his mouth so much because by the end of the day, his little thumb and finger were chapped.  I even put his hand in a newborn mitten with a lot of cream for sleeping to try to rehydrate it. 

He has been drooling buckets as well - I have changed his shirts and onesies a lot and we are moving through bibs like crazy. 

Plus, his poopy diapers have loosened up a bit (after moving into the more solid phase with the introduction of solid foods).  He has already had 3 poopy diapers today. 

There is a big debate as to whether or not diarrhea, vomiting, and fever are associated with teething or not but I just have this idea that it may not be long before we see that first little tooth.  As D says, it will be a happy and sad day because it will show growth in our boy but it will also change the entire landscape of his face. 

Solid Food Introduction - borrowed from a fellow Mom

Another Mom shared this schedule with me, from her pedi:

When we start solids most kids are going to be more gassy and some more constipated, it is the nature of starting solids. Rice is the LEAST problematic as it is the most digestible grain.


There are MANY ways to start foods and I just state to take it easy, there is no rush, and it is more for development and less for nutrition until about age 9-12 months.


Here is my speech on foods.


1. Start with stage one, either fruit or veggie. Give each new food about 3 days by itself as a new food before starting the next new food so that if there are any food reactions then you know which one caused it.


2. Alternate between fruit and veggie, don't give all the veggies and then the fruits or vice versa as they might like one or the other and not want the other kind.


3. Start with one meal per day with cereal for about 3 weeks or so.


4. Then add the second meal per day with the new stage one food.


5. Any of the OK foods can be given at any meal of the day.


Example:
am-cereal x 3 weeks, then


am-cereal, pm-sweet potato for 3 days
am-cereal and sweet potato, pm-banana for 3 days
am-cereal and banana or sweet potato, pm-peas for 3 days. etc.

Small breakthrough??

I was just writing with a friend about grief and pregnancy/parenthood and something occurred to me as I was writing to her.  I wonder if my bout of PPD had something to do with the fact that I had an emergency c-section and wasn't able to feel anything or push Michael out??  I know that it might be a long-shot and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone who suffered from PPD after a vaginal birth but I am just wondering if that wasn't some small (or not so small) part of it??? 

I was retelling her that I have been "cracking" (her word - love it) with my grief lately and that I have been telling D and my mom that I have wanted to bash my head against the wall sometimes ... literally.  Not to inflict pain on myself or anything but to just feel something strongly.  It has not been until just now that I have identified my feelings as being somewhat numb.  I think because I feel SO sad so much of the time that it seems almost like second nature that I didn't realize that my grief was numbing the depths to which I would feel my emotions before Megan died. 

So interesting the way our bodies, emotions, and minds work together . . .

Blessing of a Skinned Knee

My sister-in-law recommended this book to D & I and gave it to us along with a lot of other great ones when we became parents.  I am reading it and I really love it - it talks so much about resiliency in kids and it touches on so many things that ring true for me as I begin to formulate my goals for my parenting style. 

We went to hear Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg speak about similar topics and it was so refreshing to hear someone comment on how we have to be the ones to teach our children resiliency.  We are all not good at everything but we are all good at something so the challenge (and joy!) of life is to find what you are naturally good at and what you are interested in and find a way to make that your life's work.  So much of it is exactly what I try to teach my high school students as well. 

My favorite NPR program, Voices in the Family with Dr. Dan Gottlieb, did a piece on this book several years ago.  Here is the link: Blessing of a Skinned Knee interview with Dr. Dan Gottlieb

Solid Foods - Part Deux

So, the solid food journey has officially begun.  M is doing great and he LOVED his sweet potatoes for dinner.  He is not such a fan of the rice cereal at his first meal but we'll try it tomorrow with his second bottle to see how he does.  He has some sweet potatoes for dinner tonight and then we can add another food because he hasn't had an allergic reaction to it.  I didn't think that the 3-day wait period would be tough but it is - I just want to expose him to so much! 

For all of you book-lovers who are following the books that I am reading, here is the one that I am using the most for solid foods.  Buon Appetito!!

SOLID FOODS!

So we got the go-ahead from the pedi (actually, he asked how solids were going and we told him we hadn't started so he said to get started!).  Last night, David fed Michael some rice cereal with sweet potatoes (Earth's Best brand) and he did ok.  He isn't a champion spoon-eater, but that will come with time.  It was truly hilarious.  He was COVERED but who cares - he was too cute! 

This morning, he had some rice cereal before his bottle and he did fine.  My next projects are to come up with an eating schedule so that we can be properly prepared for solids and to spend some time this weekend preparing some baby food so that we don't have to buy the jars.  Fun fun fun!!!

Pedi visit tomorrow - crossing my fingers!

We are headed to the pedi tomorrow and I am hoping that he gives the thumbs up for starting solids.  I seriously don't think that M will last another 3 weeks.  Tonight, we were having SALAD for dinner and he was grabbing at my fork and then having small temper-tantrums when I wouldn't give it to him.  I tried to explain that Mommy was eating diet food and that, while it was delicious, he should hold out for chocolate cake or something. 

He didn't seem to get it. 

He will. 

We've switched to Level 2

We have been feeding M formula exclusively for about a month and have always used Dr. Brown's bottles with Level 1 (newborn) nipples.  M has always had a great "suck" reflex and easily switched from breast to bottle and back again.  I think that if I still had milk and gave him the breast, he would take it. 

Anyway - M started falling asleep during his bedtime bottle about 3 weeks ago and we would end up having to go back up and try to have him finish the bottle after a 1/2 hour or he'd wake up earlier than usual.  SO, we followed my sister's advice and switched gradually to the Level 2 nipples.  M did great - not a drop of milk out of his mouth (except when he is distracted by a bright, shiny, moving object while eating). 

Tonight, he drained his bottle in 9 minutes, passed out without a burp (we'll hear about that later!), and went right to bed.  He pulls the bottle out when there are 2 drops of milk left and then just lays there with this sweet, stuffed, content look on his face.  Much how I would be if I got to eat a yummy milkshake before bedtime every night. 

M is coughing this morning - poor thing!

M slept very well last night - only needed a bit of attention once or twice that only consisted of a roll back onto his side and his paci.  He slept until 7:30am and was all smiles when he woke up but as soon as I picked him up, he started hacking away.  I felt so badly for him - yesterday, he had this dry cough that I couldn't quite determine but this morning, it is wet and icky.  He slept with plenty of warmth last night and his warm-mist humidifier. 

We will try some saline drops in the nose to thin the gunk out and I will up the volume of the humidifier during his morning nap.  Poor thing!!!  Hope that the fresh air helps because we have a lot to do today!  :)